Dear Deer Oh, deer. Wait. Did you read that like a phrase of exasperation? Like "For Pete's sake?" Because that's not what we meant. Look at it more closely this time and note the comma: Oh, deer. That's right. It's an exclamation and we're talking to a deer. Like "Oh, precious deer, do come hither!" or, "Hey, deer." You see, we're trying to have a conversation here. What? Why talk to a deer? Well, why not? Deer are super soft. Gentle. Kind. And, for the most part, adorably fuzzy. Of course, we've never actually gotten close enough to one of them to know if they're gentle, kind, and fuzzy, but we assume it's true as that's what they look like. See, they're also super skittish. Can't just wander up to pet a deer. No, siree. Which is a shame, because we're sure they are soft and nice and we would really love to pet them. Fun Details Hey, what if we tried to lure them out? So we could pet and hang with them and stuff? It should be no problem at all if we're wearing this Plus Size Deer Costume. This velour jumpsuit is tan with a faux white furry belly and tail. At the ends of the sleeves, two black felt "hoof" mitts are attached, and there are black felt shoe covers to match. The hood has soft-sculpted ears and antlers, and velcro under the chin. It even comes in toddler and children sizes so we could have a whole heard of deer! Skittish Much Of course, that might scare off the deer even more. Maybe we should tone it back a bit. Only one or two false deer waiting to be accepted and approached by a real one. It should totally work. You know, as long as you stay really still. And don't make any noise. Also, try not to breathe too loud. And...